Lessons Learned....or Learning Lessons

So I know in the past that I haven't been a very trustworthy person.

I thought that telling little white lies to get out of socializing would help. That the person on the receiving end of those lies wouldn't be mad because I had a legitimate reason. Although many times the the truth was exaggerated (which is just as bad as lying) I thought that it would keep them coming back.

I was wrong.

I thought that I was above lying. What I was doing wasn't lying! It was just making the truth more easily accepted.

The funny thing about lying is the only one who initially benefits is the person telling the lie. It's easier for them to accept the truth, but what they don't realize is the other person doesn't buy their bullshit. I know this should be obvious, but it really isn't. At least not until after.

My friends know me too well. They know the sent of my bullshit. Now, even when I tell the truth, it's tainted by precedence.

I have striven to be a better person. I have told the truth when I don't want to hang out or when I've over-booked hanging out with friends. Now my past is haunting me untiringly.

I suppose these are the consequences of my actions.

I have no one to blame but myself...and that's the worst part.

I have become THAT person. The one that everyone expects to do something. So even when I go against the grain, they don't believe it.

My worst fear has come true.

I have become my father.

Ganymede, The Pillar of Confidence